i told you i was cool. it had neurotoxins!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
i hope not.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 7:28 PM
Friday, September 28, 2007
it happened some time earlier today. i think it was while i was driving home in the car. or maybe it was when i left home. but it could also have been when i was not at home but outside of the car too. i'm not sure exactly really. i can't remember it either. this idea i definitely had. but you can still ask me what it was if you want. it's only fair.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 9:54 PM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
that my life is much more interesting to you than it is to me. i'm used to it. so to me, it's really not such a huge deal. but the rest of you must all be entirely fascinated by my ongoings. if it was up to me i would just go about my day and not think anything of it. but the rest of you need me. and i don't want to let you down. i just bought a new mouse!
Posted by Cold Bacon at 11:41 AM
Saturday, September 22, 2007
but it was closed. god dammit. but it's more complicated than just that. i got there at 2:10. and they closed at 2:00. i should have been extra annoyed because of that. but i wasn't. i was the same annoyed. but there's more. i had forgotten that now with modern progress and everything they now have a computer thing that lets you weigh your mail and calculate how many stamps you have to put. and you can even get to this computer thing when the main post office is closed. isn't that considerate of them? it's it's attached to the wall and probably has no street value. i'm surprised someone hasn't tried to steal it. so i used the machine and went home and put the right amount of stamps on my mail. i still haven't mailed it. tell you if i do.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 5:04 PM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
i may be leaving the house again today. nothing is certain. is anything ever? but a friend of mine whom i presume has exhausted her other option, has informed me we are going to dinner. i have three choices. japanese, korean, and korean. which shall it be?
Posted by Cold Bacon at 12:57 PM
i could have pretty much predicted everything that ended up happening today. with one glaring exception. there was one thing that happened today that stood out. no, you know what. what i was going to say. actually, i could have predicted that might happen too. so never mind.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 1:17 AM
Thursday, September 13, 2007
maybe it's because i'm so hungry that i'm light headed. but maybe it's something else. some other reason. i've had seven strawberries today i know that much.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 1:17 PM
Posted by Cold Bacon at 12:03 PM
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
i told them it was cyanide. and they better not come any closer.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 7:18 PM
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
oh my god. i tried this new ethnic gourmet (real up and comer brand) frozen entree for lunch today. it was bad. it was very bad. if you're ever at a Kroger's and see a frozen entree called "butternut squash ravioli" that has a side of "mini broccoli florets," just keep walking.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 9:42 PM
from the trees falling all around outside my window. however i did have another almost-catastrophe. earlier today i nibbled off a tiny bit of fingernail and flick'd it and it went right into my eye! can you believe it? right in my eye! fortunately i had the sense to not blink and popped over to the sink for a little splashy splash. anyway we're good now.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 4:25 PM
i'm having an open-faced tuna melt. ok, that's not true. i'm just having some leftover beluga caviar and champagne. then i will round out my celebration with a walk to the post office to return a netflix video. i always take my mail to the post-office because i don't trust the mail carriers anymore after 9/11.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 1:04 PM
a giant mass of god's finest (tree) is going to come crashing through my window and/or roof at any moment. i can't leave though, and go somewhere safer, or even perhaps, not right next to the window, because when it does happen, i have to be here to report.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 12:03 PM
this is ridiculous. the people next door to me have a real orange tree. an orange tree? right in the middle of the city. ok, that's pretty cool. but that isn't the problem. it's the pine trees right next to the orange tree. apparently they had to receive a trim, and this had to begin at approximately 8 am on a Tuesday, which is approximately not when i am supposed to be awake and posting a blog entry. this is why i waited until now to post. i had to calm down. they are still going too for crying out loud. i'll let you know.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 11:06 AM
Monday, September 10, 2007
it really was. oh, wait. that was the night before last night. shit. last night it was back to gin. then i passed out really early. that's right. the gin didn't even have time to settle. damn. i probably should have mentioned all this in a post yesterday. that would help keep it all straight. i should probably say what i'm going to do tonight right now so in case i forget to post it later tonight, i can refer back to this post, right? i think so.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 5:47 PM
had some coffee. and then instead of just one hershey's kiss to go with it, i had two! two kisses! i thought it might shake things up a bit. actually everything kinda feels the same. oh well. anyway, tomorrow i might go across the street. i'll let you know.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 2:46 PM
i'd like to thank all of you for voting today on my breakfast and lunch. i did have that egg for breakfast. then coffee. for lunch i had pasta and the sauce from the other night. i wanted to see what happened with brittney last night at the VMA's but instead i had to watch some general drone on about the war. my god, enough. this war is really starting to annoy me. all i have to say is it better be over before the grammy's.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
and go to a friend’s house. my friend’s baby is small and cute and squeals. I just call her baby because i have no idea what her name is. so far i’ve gotten away with it. so anyway the thing she does which I like best is she flops down on her back on the carpet with their small dog and they wriggle around in synchronized ecstasy. it makes me happy to think of it.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 12:29 PM
Saturday, September 8, 2007
i’m spelling it "ok" and not "okay" like i used to do. that’s because someone told me that’s how it should be spelled. the reason i'm making such a fuss about this is because it represents a new stage in my life where i do whatever anyone else tells me.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 7:06 PM
it’s your fault. i’ve been up here all day posting messages and now the sauce is probably burned. dammit. anyway, you see, this is what happens when you do things. i better wrap up this post and head down there. if you listen carefully, you might even hear a scream, depending on exactly where you live. wait. quiet. listen. hear anything? that's because i haven't gone down there yet. i'm still here, you dummy. how else could i be typing this? ok, now listen.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 6:55 PM
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
In my fridge, there is one of those beautiful peppers, you know the kind that are orange or yellow and cost way more than the green ones? It’s because they have to be individually sneaked in from Europe. Homeland security does not want bright colored peppers in our country. And this makes them cost more. Oh right, so mine got wrinkled. It’s because I always buy them. Cause they’re so shiny and cool. But I have no idea what to do with it, so I just look at it. But now it’s all wrinkled. I have to go to the store now, and get a new one.
click here if you would like to know what really happened to that pepper.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 2:11 PM
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
but then i fell asleep. it was on the couch. i don't know what to tell you. it just happened. then it started raining like fuck. that damn gutter rattling, like a million little kids throwing a million little pebbles. that got me up. piece a pizza. more coffee. it's alright.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 3:32 PM
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
i drank way too much. it's not my fault though. my tolerance is so high, for some reason, that i have to drink about a bottle of something before i forget even my first layer of problems. it was really bad. the wine i mean, was terrible. and i felt sick in my stomach and head. but it's ok though because i just took a pill and fell asleep.
Posted by Cold Bacon at 7:14 PM